theatlantic: The Tweet That Begins the Zombie Apocalypse This is not the kind of Tweet you want to see from a feed that describes itself as “an automated Twitter feed provided by the Illini-Alert System” that is “not actively monitored by a human being.” In essence, we have a robot reporting to us that some kind of hazardous material — what, we don’t know and can’t discover — has been released within a biotechnology research center.The Institute for Genomic Biology has a wide variety of research programs including stuff like “host-microbe systems.” For 52 minutes, that was all the information that was available. Then, two tweets came in fairly quick succession. The first said that the “spill” was “contained within the building.” The second said that the building had been safely evacuated and “The fire department is on scene.”[…] This really sounds like the opening line of an updated version of the post-apocalyptic novel World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War or a plot point in Colson Whitehead’s Zone One. There’s something chilling about, “Escape area if able to do so.” Escape? From what? And why wouldn’t I be able to? WHATS HAPPENING?!?! Ok, sorry. Carry on. I’m sure zombies aren’t closing in on Chicago or anywhere else. All clear, everybody. Put those bug-out bags away. AAAAAAAAAHH. FIRST THE MIAMI FACE-EATER AND NOW THIS?

theatlantic:

The Tweet That Begins the Zombie Apocalypse

This is not the kind of Tweet you want to see from a feed that describes itself as “an automated Twitter feed provided by the Illini-Alert System” that is “not actively monitored by a human being.” In essence, we have a robot reporting to us that some kind of hazardous material — what, we don’t know and can’t discover — has been released within a biotechnology research center.The Institute for Genomic Biology has a wide variety of research programs including stuff like “host-microbe systems.”

For 52 minutes, that was all the information that was available. Then, two tweets came in fairly quick succession. The first said that the “spill” was “contained within the building.” The second said that the building had been safely evacuated and “The fire department is on scene.”[…]

This really sounds like the opening line of an updated version of the post-apocalyptic novel World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War or a plot point in Colson Whitehead’s Zone One. There’s something chilling about, “Escape area if able to do so.” Escape? From what? And why wouldn’t I be able to? WHATS HAPPENING?!?!

Ok, sorry. Carry on. I’m sure zombies aren’t closing in on Chicago or anywhere else.

All clear, everybody. Put those bug-out bags away.

AAAAAAAAAHH. FIRST THE MIAMI FACE-EATER AND NOW THIS?

Source: The Atlantic
  1. nautilo reblogged this from theatlantic
  2. belowastarrysky reblogged this from dduane
  3. drcthulwho reblogged this from dduane and added:
    the threat hasn’t even been neutralized, just “mitigated”. i’ll get the fallout shelter ready
  4. asongagainstsex reblogged this from theatlantic
  5. meetapossum reblogged this from chimericaloutlier and added:
    There was an article on Jezebel today about how zombie apocalypse jokes aren’t funny, and it made me glad to be on the...
  6. chimericaloutlier reblogged this from dduane
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  9. underthemountainbunker reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    … Seriously! ESCAPE AREA IF SAFE TO DO SO? Because of a hazardous materials spill at an Institute for GENOMIC BIOLOGY?!...
  10. mrnickerdoodle reblogged this from impostorsyndrome and added:
    Most unsettling text message you could ever get at 10pm. When I got it, I said, well I’m in some shelter right now...
  11. impostorsyndrome reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    This is my school. And of course the zombipocalypse happens when I’m out of town. Nothing cool ever happens to me.
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  20. thenoobyorker reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    From The Atlantic,...It’s perhaps time to rethink the words utilized by this alarm system.
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  22. annasworld reblogged this from shorterexcerpts and added:
    zombie apocalypse
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