Three Awesome Date Ideas For People Who Aren’t Jerks
There are two things that everyone in America can agree on, and the first one is that DATING SUCKS (the other one is toothpaste — that shit is great!) Dating can feel forced, inorganic, and oftendevolves into a boring waste of time. But straight dudes need to have a lady touch their D or THEY’LL DIE. Thus, men all across this great country continue to ask strangers to hang out for a few hours in order to assess their willingness. (NOTE: I am not a gay dude nor a lady, and I am 100% for them getting wet and wild with whomever, however they wanna go about it. HOWEVER, I can only speak for white, straight males ages 18-35 [the people the government like the most] so this article is specifically directed at them.) Too often, we’re all on our best behavior, and you can’t get an accurate read on whether or not the two of you will have interlocking gender-toys. That’s why I’ve compiled a list of dates that will not only break the ice, but sink the ship (sex.) (wait, is comparing intercourse to a maritime disaster a bad thing? If my therapist is reading this then please let me know on Monday, thanks.) OH so right, first and foremost, to any dude reading this: THESE DATE IDEAS WILL ONLY WORK IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY 100% YOURSELF.